hot take- people who have made a conscious decision to be horrible bigots should understand that they will be treated like people who chose to be horrible bigots
The person who said that quote now goes by Abigail Thorn btw!
i love you USPS I love you NASA i love you taxpayer funded services that actually contribute positively to society i love you libraries i love you public transport
this is so nostalgic. tumblr rolls out something terrible. everyone complains. it breaks several people’s dashboards. for some reason it only rolls out to a few people at a time with seemingly no warning. the community collectively and immediately searches for a browser extension that undoes the change. i know we’ve all gotten burnt out on all social media sucking but this is genuinely The tumblr experience. everyone who hasn’t gotten it already gets an achievement. welcome to the club
i love adding explosions mid sentence. like i could be in the middle of rambling about something or i could be attempting to be funny and then iâll jđ„
Hi, I’ve been seeing a dragonair near the lagoon by my house. It’s been snatching people’s picnics— it’s honestly worse than the wingull in the area. Would it be safe for me to try and approach it, maybe adopt it?
Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say âaccidentallyâ but it was really more of a âmy friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a pythonâ, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.
Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrongâI explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.
Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.
You ever clean a blender? Itâs a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! Theyâve got gaskets. You canât just scrub âem and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. Youâve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. Thereâs something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.
As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They donât have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at workâthe motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.
Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didnât know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.
This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.
A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friendâs bed.
ALT